Dear Jesus, Gerry didn't work out because Gerry didn't work. And, after spending one night in complete darkness because "pretty didn't pay the light bill," Gerry and I broke up and are no longer speaking. Marshall wasn't a viable suitor because when he finally revealed himself to me, I found out that his breasts were larger than mine because he used to be a she. Marshall and I are no longer speaking. Keith could have been the one. I met him at...